A Friendly Game of Dodge Ball
by officespace
Summary: "If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!" OneShot for the lulz Rated T for a few bad words.
1. Chapter 1

**A Friendly Game of Dodge Ball**

**Summary: "If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!" OneShot for the lulz Rated T for a few bad words.**

**I'm back readers! Sorry about not updating some of my other stories...I'm working on it : } Anyways, just writing a little sport-y themed story for the lulz Inspired by MissNelle's story "Baseball Battle! Earth vs Asgard!" you should read it, it's really funny. Enjoy.**

Chapter 1

The lodge room doors slide open and Thor and Loki passed happily threw the threshold "Friends! I have just finished watching a most marvelous movie film." Loki scoffed "Thor it was barbaric, tools should not be thrown in a friendly jest." Everyone was curious as to what the two gods were talking about. Tony even paused his game, at the mention of "tools" being thrown. "Come on Loki, it was a great team building activity." Loki rolled his eyes "It was an okay team building activity at best, why not engage in a friendly battle of Boggle or Guess Who?"

Thor gave Loki a friendly slap on the back "Loki, please while a game of the mind might prove useful for you, a game in which you ready yourself for anything will prove to be far better skill on the battle field." Loki huffed; he rather liked the idea of Boggle, after seeing it played by the Great Peggy Hill from the Hill that bores Kings television show "Fine."

"Great! Friends let us play a friendly game of dodge ball!" The room fell silent for a few moments until the sound of Tony snickering filled room "Bwahahahahaha, you can't be serious, bwhahahahaha, you're serious? You're serious!" Tony fell backwards his game controller still in hand. Clint laughed a bit at Tony's antics and Steve frowned at the playboy's rude actions.

Natasha looked at Thor "Thor..." but she could tell by the look in his eyes that he was serious. The thunder god really thought this was a good idea, and his beaming smile started to slowly fade. Bruce put down his newspaper "Guys," but Tony only laughed harder. Natasha rolled her eyes "I'm in." The room fell silent again. Clint's jaw dropped and all eyes were on her, she even had Loki's full attention. Tony leaned back on one elbow "You can't be serious?" he asked more serious this time.

"What? You boys afraid of a little game of dodge ball." everyone looked at Tony "Well no, but we don't even have enough players." That's when Phil walked in, "High guys, what's this about dodge ball?" Now Tony's jaw dropped "Yeah, four on four, not happening you need at least five-" Then entered Jane and Darcy. "Sup guys!" Darcy waved. Tony gave up "W-what! What are they even-" Jane cut in "We're here to do research on the two way portal. We needed better equipment so Director Fury let us use the main lab here. Thor called use up for lunch and yeah, Hi."

Tony could feel his eye twitch. Thor could feel his smile coming back "So that settles it!" Tony sighed dramatically, tossing his PS3 controller on the floor "Well I'm picking my own team!" Thor crossed the room quickly pulling out a plastic bag and grabbing a piece of computer paper "No Tony, that would be unfair and thus defeat the purpose of this team building activity." Tony was about the say something but Steve beat him to the punch "What do you have in mind?"

Thor ripped up the little sheets of paper, writing little one's and two's on five pieces each "We do this on Asgard all the time, but with stones." he folded the little slips of paper and placed them all into the plastic bag "Each of you will draw from this plastic pack and be sorted into your respective teams."

Jane nodded "Sounds good to me." everyone slowly agreed and Thor placed the plastic bag on the coffee table for all to reach "Gather round! Tony since you have requested so, you may go first. Let it be known that whoever picks the one or the two first will be the team captain!" Clint scoffed shaking his head side to side and everyone else just prayed to be on the same team as Thor.

Tony drew first "Two? Eh, I'm still number one."

Steve was next; he reached slowly in the bag, pulling out the little white piece of paper. Tony peeked over "Tony!" but the brunette just rolled his eyes "Hurry up Cap sickle." Steve finally got the paper opened "Two!" Tony clinched his fist "Yes! High five!"

Phil was next, "Please be two, Please be two, Please be two." he closed his eyes and unfolded the paper "TWO! Yesh!" Steve smiled, Tony shrugged.

Loki was next "Well if I must." he pulled out the next piece of paper "One," Thor beamed, "That means you are team captain of One!" Loki sighed "Yay" in the most lack luster way possible.

Thor was up next, this was the drawing everyone was waiting for. Everyone watched the god dip his muscular fingers into the thin plastic bag. Loki and Tony both prayed for the god of thunder to be on their team. "Two?" Tony went mad giving high fives to Steve and Phil, Thor frowned looking at his brother "Aww, but I wanted-" Tony pulled the big blonde over to him "Too late, you're on my team! And that just leaves on spot left on team Tony is Awesome!" Tony eyed Bruce, while the rest of the team looked around the room with indifference.

Clint was next "Aright, give me a two," he reached into the bag "Wha-one. awww" Clint slumped and walked over to Loki, who patted him on the back. "Looks like the odds are not in your favor," the god of mischief bowed slightly "Welcome back number 1." the look on Clint's face was priceless.

Natasha was up next, she grabbed her piece of paper quickly "Two," she turned it around for the group to see. Tony and Clint frowned; Thor looked like his heart was being ripped out, and Loki facepalmed.

Phil clapped his hands together "Alright, Looks like Bruce, Jane, and Darcy are all on team one. Good luck guys, let's meet down in the practice room around 5-ish?" The groups disbanded to their respective practicing areas, which were few. Loki's team headed to the parking deck, while Tony's team crammed into one of the unused rooms in the back of his lab. None of the teams were allowed to use the practice room, on Fury's orders, he liked the idea of a "friendly" dodge ball game. Mostly because of the idea of anyone throwing anything at Tony amused him, he ordered for the room to be reinforced so that some of the other agents and guest could fit in.

~Team One's Strong Hold~

"Okay," Loki clasped his hands together, looking at his bewildered team "Strategies. Hmmmmm, Ah yes, avoid being stricken down but Thor at all cost. Stark can be a little cocky and tends to preform terrible when over confident. Please keep your eyes on Miss Romanoff." Loki pointed at Clint "You, keep your eyes off of Miss Romanoff, I would not put it pass her to use your child like affection for her against you." Clint rolled his eyes "Miss Foster and Miss Lewis please keep on your toes." The two women nodded "You," Loki pointed again "Dr. Banner for the love of Odin, please do not Hulk out." The doctor nodded nervously

~Team Two's a.k.a Team Tony is Awesome Strong Hold~

"Alright team, we got a pretty good thing going for use, with Captain patriotic and Goldilocks on our team." Looking around at his team "And I guess it's a good thing we have Fan boy and Wonder woman too." They rolled their eyes at their pet names, not feeling as over confident of the billionaire. "Let's get out there and kick some Team One's ass!"

5pm

"Time is exactly 5pm eastern time; teams please take your places at the back lines." JARVIS said "The rules are as followed, if you are hit by any of the red balls thrown by a member of the opposing team you are out. If you catch a ball thrown by a member of the opposing team then the player who threw the ball is out and the member holding the ball is safe and may be allowed to bring back any player on their team that was previously hit out. The first team to lose out five players will be deemed the loser. Ready..."

The players all lined up on their lines, team one wearing green jerseys and team two wearing red.

"Set..."

They all bent down clinching their fist, eyes fixed on the six rubber red balls all lined up at the middle of the court.

"Begin!"

~TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Everyone raced to the middle of the court, Loki and Bruce held back moving side to side near their starting lines. Thor, Steve, Natasha reached the middle picked up their balls and moved back followed by Clint, Jane, and Darcy grabbing one each as well. Natasha threw the first ball fast and hard, directed at Loki who jumped out of the way, just in time. The red ball smacked against the wall with such force that Tony was glad Fury had had the room reinforced. Thor threw the next ball and if everyone hadn't done a double take they would have thought the ball was on fire, it hit Clint's right thigh, sending him flipping into the air. "MY LEGGGGG!" He did about two flips before landing flat on his face. Everyone winced when they heard his face make contact with the floor.

"Clint Barton you are out." JARVIS chimed in

Loki, Jane, Bruce, and Darcy watched in horror as the injured archer crawled to the side lines. Thor furrowed his brows, not meaning to harm, his friend so badly. Tony jerked around "Blondie! Paid attention!" But it was too late Darcy had already thrown the ball hitting the thunder god on the shoulder. Thor turned around, barely feeling the ball touch his skin.

"Thor Odinson you are out."

Thor slumped off the courts in shame, everyone on team one breathing a sigh of relief. Darcy snickered to herself feeling pretty darn proud about getting the great Thor out. However her victory was short lived when she was struck out by Steve.

"Darcy Lewis you are out"

"Fuck!" she ran to the side lines to sit next to Clint, who had had a mountain of ice on his leg. Tony high fived Steve and Natasha ran over to the left side of the court grabbing a ball and threw it all Bruce. Who dodged just in time, he looked back to where the ball had fell feeling confident, ran for one of the two balls closest to him but tripped over one landing on his stomach. Phil threw a ball at him, hitting him out.

"Dr. Bruce Banner you are out."

Tony laughed and high fived Phil, dancing around the court mocking Loki and his team. He was just about to finish his third pre-victory lap, when Jane threw one of the red balls right at him. "Tony watch out!" Steve shouted and just in time too, because the play boy caught the ball.

"Jane Foster you are out."

"Drats!" She walked to the sidelines to join the rest of her teammates

"Sir, you may bring back one of your teammates."

"Easy pick, JARVIS, Thor get your butt back in here!" Thor jumped up, eager not to fail his teammates again. Loki took advantage of Tony's lapse of focus and hit Tony square on the left butt cheek. "Son of a-" Tony shouted, grabbing his injured cheek

"Sir you are out."

"What! No far, it was still a timed out!" Tony snapped back at his AI. Fury shook his head "Tony, get off the court!" Tony left with a huff, limping like a pregnant woman off to the side lines. Natasha revved up another shot at Loki, aiming for his leg this time; he saw the rubber orb just in time, bending down to catch it in his chest. The force of the throw sent him crashing to the floor, nearly knocking the wind out of his chest.

"Natasha Romanoff you are out. Loki you may bring back one of your teammates."

"Very well, Jane will you join me?" Jane jumped up "It would be my pleasure Captain!" Steve, Phil, and Thor hopped around the courts; all the balls were on Loki's side. Jane and Loki throw balls at the trio, missing every shot. Steve ran after one of the balls, recharging and throwing it at Jane who caught it.

"Steve Rogers you are out.

He nodded walking over to the side lines, sitting next to Tony, who was still pouting.

"Jane you may bring back one of your teammates."

Jane looked around "Oh ok, Darcy, get up here." She waved. "Woot!" the dark haired women shouted. Everyone moved and dodged the balls that were flying around the court. The audience of SHIELD workers and guest, jumping every time Thor landed a blow on the flexible glass protecting them. Thor was extremely conflicted; this was not what he had in mind for team a building activity. His choices of targets where all people he loved and he didn't want a repeat of what happened before. He and Phil were the only teammates left and he didn't want to disappoint Tony either. Tony shuck his head "Dude, Blondie hit somebody!" Steve struggled to keep the shouting playboy down. Thor grabbed a ball and took aim at the first target that came into his sight; the ball flew with thunderous speed. Straight into the opposing player's face. Smack! That was all that was heard, as Jane's body did a side cart wheel into the air. She landed hard on the ground and did not move for several seconds. Loki called a time out.

"Jane Foster you are out. A time out for Team One has been issued."

The room fell silent as Loki and Darcy ran over to their fallen teammate. "Jane," Darcy shook her body, all eyes were on the lifeless body. Thor staring intently at his beloved, who had fallen by his hands, "Jane!" the dark haired woman shouted again, slowly but surely Jane opened her eyes giving her worried team a thumbs up "She's ok! She's ok!" Darcy shouted. The crowd went wild; Thor breathed a sigh of relief, dropping to his knees, admitting defeat. As the two dragged their teammate away, the time out was lifted. Thor was never one to give up, but he felt so bad, he ignored the curses, from Tony, and shouts from his teammates. Loki hit him out "Brother, I believe you are out."

"Thor Odinson you are out."

Thor nodded, stood up and walked to the back curling up into a tight ball. Tony said nothing. Phil dodged and leaped out of the way of many balls flying around him. Hit him was like trying to pin a needle on a fly. Phil picked on a ball hitting Darcy on the butt.

"Darcy Lewis you are out."

"I know damnit!" she stormed off to the side lines. Now it was just Phil and Loki, each of them had a ball in hand. They starred deeply into each other's eyes, green meeting brown. Beads of sweat forming at their brows. The room fell silent once more. Phil tightened his grip around his ball "People don't know this about me but I was on the national winning team back in my college days." Loki scoffed "Yes and I presume you did a very good job at warning the benches." Phil glared, but people didn't know this, the trick was keeping your cool. That was the key to winning a dodge ball game "It's okay if you're intimated by me, it's not like you're a fallen villain or anything, who had his ass handed to him by a couple of mortals. Oh wait, that was you."

"Shut your trap, mortal," Loki growled, but Phil didn't let up "What was that? You're going to have to back that up with an army. Oh wait you did that already and we still beat you." Loki glared turned to ice "As I recall you faked your death to get out of fighting." Low blow but Phil was waiting for the emerald eyed god to play that card all along "Is that the sound of failure calling? Lokiiiii Lokiiiii where did you go? Your fallen army is calling for you, they want you to job them back in the loser's pit." And that was the last straw Loki threw his ball, but Phil dodged it easily and he threw his. With a force that could rival Thor's, dead into the smaller god's stomach. The ball created a crater as it made contact with the god of mischief's gut. Knocking him right off his feet and onto his back. Hitting the floor like a pile of bricks. Everyone stood up.

"Loki Odinson you are out."

The crowd erupted, Tony, Steve, and Natasha ran over to their teammate patted him on the back and congratulated him. While Loki lay on his knees, grabbing his stomach tightly before retching on the floor. "Pizza for the winners?" Tony shouted. This time Thor joined them "Friends, there are no losers in this game. I will reward each of you with the most wonderful prize ever." Everyone perked up, crowding around Thor he smiled "A noble handshake for the completion of our team building activity!" Well they should have known, but no one was mad, they all laughed and hurried out for dinner a Pizza Burger.

**Thanks for reading everybody, let us hope that Clint will be able to walk again. lolz Also I encourage everyone to try their hand at writing Fan-fiction as they are my fuel for this amazing fandom *v***

**I also enjoy reading the reviews! XD**

**Until next time!**


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